My Pants Are Stuck To My Backside

My Pants Are Stuck To My Backside was a poem written by Slippery Jones in 1917. It reads thus:

Your writer has sat for far too long

The anal adhesion now oh so strong

I stand from my seat and what do I find?

Yes, my pants stuck to my backside

They cling like film to my buttocks bare

Tight wetlook trousers I suddenly wear

The sweat pool congealed; formed a salty glue

And now your poor writer really needs the loo

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